Bend, shape … evolve and grow! Most of us look for a sense that we are OK outside of ourselves. Most of us look for that sense of validation from others. Most of us dare not dream of being able to get that from inside of ourselves.
What I’ve learned is that as long as our sense of OK-ness is contingent on other people and their feedback, we are in serious trouble. Most of us would never purposely or intentionally put our well-being or sense of self in the hands of someone else. It’s an unconscious thing at best. We just do it. Often we are insatiable for more feedback to reinforce that we are loveable, worthy, or un-loveable and unworthy. Sounds crazy? Do you do it?
What about the other side of this – those of us who are self-sufficient and need no one? We figure we may as well do it ourselves, as we are rarely satisfied with the efforts of others anyway. Neither one of these people are usually great relationship material. Getting insecure, regardless of how it’s dressed up, is quite unattractive and self-defeating, not to mention a setup for relationship misery. The deal is this; like attracts like, and ducks attract ducks, and people of various levels of emotional and mental well-being, ummm, they attract others at similar levels!
If you want the kind of relationship your dreams are made of, then it becomes imperative that you develop the characteristics that would be a direct magnet for that phenomenal person. It’s not about ‘finding’ the perfect partner. It’s about taking responsibility for what you believe you are worthy of and evolving yourself into the being you were meant to be. No one is asking you to compromise yourself or become less; just to become all you were meant to be! The best part is that you can enjoy doing it. It’s sort of like a sport or anything that takes practice. It’s great when you hit the ball and frustrating when you don’t.
We’ll get the tailored list of process questions for you to use when you’re feeling off track and get you back in the batter’s box better prepared for the next ball coming. This is all a win-win situation!